Is there really such a thing as WIN WIN?

I have been negotiating projects and contracts for many years now. I have the ability to win and get what I want. Well, most of the time. However, I always know that when the negotiation is complete and I walk away victorious, there is someone, somewhere who lost. Although the agreement or contract went my way, I never feel good about being the superior negotiator in that fashion.

I have learned that negotiating a win-win is far more satisfying and honestly far more humbling to my Creator. I know that my desire is to control and steer the negotiation in a way that all parties walk away from the table happy that they got what they wanted and nobody lost. Distinction; this is not a compromise, this is a win-win.

I can remember negotiating with one of the areas larger general contractors about the amount of value engineering was needed to reduce the total construction cost and how the savings would be distributed once the costs were calculated if there was a surplus. Essentially the construction company was already awarded with the 27 million dollar project and we communicated that we were willing to walk away if we could not reach an agreement that was equitable for BOTH parties. We were able to achieve a win-win and all parties involved walked away happy.

There are many tips, strategies, steps or disciplines for negotiating and you can simply Google those things. My two basic tenants for negotiating are being willing to walk away and just as important, shut up and listen. When you listen, you hear things and when you hear things you can glean hidden needs or desires that will, if you allow, steer the negotiation. Don’t be in a hurry, just be patient until the end. In most cases, you will achieve a win-win which helps the relationship down the road – just be sure to listen.

If one party in the relationship loses and loses bad, do you think they will ever want to do business with you again? It really is all about relationships and building trust. Knowing that there isn’t a unilateral self serving motive really helps set the tone. Don’t get me wrong, I have been involved in some very aggressive battles where the gloves came off and those can certainly be fun, especially if you come out on top.

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